


with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

by scarletred



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coming Out, Growing Up, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, it probably sounds a lot worse than how it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:11:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23131615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletred/pseuds/scarletred
Summary: Charles hated seeing the flowers, until one day he didn't anymore.Soulmate!AU
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen
Comments: 12
Kudos: 126





	with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!  
A friend of mine shared a [prompt list](https://wlwprompts.tumblr.com/post/173137886389/soulmate-au-tropes-3) the other day and we fell in love with the same one.
> 
> _If your soulmate gets a wound or cut, flowers bloom out of the same spot on your own body._
> 
> We both agreed that flowers sprouting out of your body were quite creepy so she came up with a very cute version of the same prompt and I came up with mine. What about mental health? I wondered. Charles wearing flower crowns was just an added bonus, really.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> PS: this is what I do instead of working on my dissertation like I should, ops.

🌸

The first time it happened Charles had just turned thirteen.

He was battling against Pierre in a very heated FIFA match when out of nowhere a flower crown appeared on his head. For a good few seconds he didn’t even notice it, too busy celebrating the goal he had just scored.

“You’re shit at this game, Pear. I can’t believe you let me score like that” he said.

His best friend kept staring at him, mouth hanging over in shock.

“What?” he asked. “Pierre, what’s wrong?”

“Your… your head” he whispered.

“My head _what_?”

“There’s…” Pierre swallowed. “Flowers. On your head.”

“WHAT?” he exclaimed in disbelief. “Pierre, are you okay? What the fuck ar-”

He paused as he was trying to brush his hair off his forehead.

Except what he felt definitely wasn’t hair.

“PIERRE, WHAT THE FUCK” he shouted.

He ran to the bathroom and found himself in front of the mirror.

With a pink and white flower crown sitting on his head.

It could only mean one thing.

His soulmate was out there.

And they just got injured.

To the head.

Nice.

“Breathe, Charles. It’s okay” kept repeating Pierre as his arms found their way around his middle.

No. No. No. It wasn’t okay at all.

🌸

No. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be.

He slumped to the floor and hugged himself tight.

He couldn’t be _that_.

He was shaking violently and the room felt void of air.

The thought had snaked its way to the front of his mind and just wouldn’t leave.

_If I like boys instead of girls, then I must be gay._

But he couldn’t be.

Why, why did he go to the park that day? He should have just stayed home.

None of this would have happened.

Instead here he was.

Dying. All alone. Crying like a baby.

_You’re not dying_ said his inner voice.

It surely felt like it.

And if he wasn’t dying, this was still the end of the world.

What about his soulmate?

What if…

Oh no.

What if his soulmate was a girl?

He sobbed even harder as his heart clenched on itself.

Bits and pieces of the football team training in the park replaying on a loop behind his eyelids.

Some of them made him feel nothing. Just people exercising.

Some of them looked cute. Nice but nothing special.

One of them. One of them…

Would he go to Hell for kissing a boy?

“What are you doing on the floor?” his mum asked and another wave of tears came forward.

“Oh, baby, it will be alright” she said as she crouched beside him.

Safely held by his mother’s arms Max had never felt less _alright_.

🌷🌷

The second time it happened Charles was sixteen and a half.

He was at the movie theatre with some of his classmates when a kid started screaming.

“’OLMATE” he heard and his blood ran cold.

Not again. Not here. Not now.

Of course everyone turned to look at him as the little boy kept shouting and pointing his little finger at the flower crown on his head. Great.

Some of his classmates started teasing him about it, throwing in a couple of wolf whistles too.

“He-hey, Charlie boy has a soulmateeeeee” Nicolas said as he nudged him in the ribs.

He blushed furiously and muttered a half-hearted “shut up” that only spurred them on.

“I wonder who the lucky girl is” commented Tom.

“Girl or _boy_” added Justin.

A bunch of “yeah, right” rose from the group of teenagers. They all knew about Charles’s bisexuality and none of them had problems with it. Charles definitely considered himself lucky.

“Shit, but this isn’t the first time, is it?” asked Paul. “You’re not freaking out.”

Charles shook his head. He had already had his _omg I have a soulmate_ freak-out years ago.

“And you didn’t tell us?” Tom sounded offended.

“I bet he told Pierre” someone remarked.

Okay. Enough of this.

“Do you guys want to see the movie or not?” he asked and they all got the hint that the conversation was over. Thank God.

🌷🌷

He had to do this.

He had prepared a speech and he just had to go out there and repeat it out loud.

With anxiety weighing down his every move he reached his parents in the living room and sat on the couch in front of them.

They looked a bit worried. Of course they did. Max hadn’t uttered a single word the whole evening.

“I have to tell you something.”

_Way to go, man. Now they’re just more worried._

It was a simple sentence.

Only a word, really.

But his tongue felt stuck and the oxygen in his lungs just wouldn’t come.

_Just say it. Say it._

_Say it._

He cleared his throat trying to buy himself more time.

_Don’t chicken out! Just say it!_

“I think I’m gay?”

His dad blinked.

His mum sighed.

“Are you asking us for an opinion?” she joked. A smile on her lips.

He shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

Was that it?

No screaming, no crying, nothing at all?

His parents exchanged a look.

Oh no.

He tried to get up and leave, but his father already had his arms wrapped around him. His mother hugging him from the other side. He should have known this was coming.

“We love you, Maxy” his dad said.

“My name’s Max” he whined.

“Whatever you say, Maxy” replied his mum’s sarcasm.

He just groaned and pretended to be annoyed at them both.

He didn’t need to say it for them to know it.

_I love you too._

🌺🌺🌺

During his final year in high school the flower crowns were pretty much always there.

So much so that he started being genuinely concerned about his soulmate’s wellbeing.

What did they do to always get head injuries?

His mum suggested maybe they played some kind of aggressive sport like rugby.

Charles wasn’t that convinced though. Did they play _every day_? Get hurt _every time_?

All his friends around him would get flowers only every now and then and always in normal places like arms and legs. Broken bones most likely.

Why, why did he only get flower crowns?

Okay, they were pretty. They made him smile because the flowers were always so gorgeous and colourful, but… he was starting to feel sick whenever they would appear out of the blue.

He hated whoever had decided this soulmate thing.

Mind you, Charles absolutely _loved_ the idea of having a soulmate somewhere in the world. A person who would love and cherish him forever. A person to love and cherish forever. He didn’t know who they were or where they were, but he felt very protective of them already. And that’s exactly why he hated having to carry the reminder of his soulmate’s pain.

He just hoped they were okay and would find their way to him as soon as possible.

🌺🌺🌺

His brain decided to give up on him the minute the school year began.

In a few months he’d finally be done with high school forever.

As the days passed and graduation day inched closer and closer he should have felt lighter, but his mind just wouldn’t cooperate.

Days, weeks, months started to blur together in a messy haze.

Wake up. Go to school. Don’t panic. Pay attention to the teachers. Go home. Have lunch. Don’t panic. Do your homework. Study. Don’t panic. Help your parents with dinner. Watch a movie. Go to bed. Don’t panic. Sleep. Rinse and repeat.

He was tired of feeling tired all the time.

He was tired of living a life that didn’t feel truly his anymore.

His parents loved and supported him, he had a few close friends, he did well in school…

What was wrong with him, then?

Why couldn’t he just _be_ like anyone else?

Maybe he was already stressing about the upcoming changes.

Maybe he just had one of those flawed brains.

Or maybe he was worried he’d die sad and alone.

Not even his soulmate would want him.

Rationally he knew that wasn’t true. He knew that it wasn’t a matter of _wanting_ rather of, well, getting hurt. And as much as anxious Max could be a tad selfish at times he didn’t want his soulmate to get injured just for them to manifest themselves.

Still, he was starting to doubt their existence.

As he cried himself to sleep that night he wished for them to come into his life soon enough.

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Moving to Paris to attend the university there hadn’t been easy, but two years later Charles could be satisfied with the life he had. His grades were good, he loved the city and he had met a huge amount of new people.

Unfortunately none of them were his soulmate.

Sure. Friendships had been formed – friends were important, he kept telling himself – but was he being greedy for wanting to find _the one_ too?

Some of his friends back home had already found theirs.

Even Pierre had found his soulmate in a gorgeous Italian girl.

And what did he have? A fuck ton of flower crowns.

It wasn’t like him to be envious of other people’s happiness, but he was starting to feel bitter about the whole situation.

Why wouldn’t they just show up?

“Charles?” someone called him from the row behind his.

He rolled his eyes even though he wasn’t exactly paying attention to the lecture and turned around.

“What do you want?”

“Your daisies just turned into lilies” Alex pointed out.

Great. Awesome. It was always about the fucking flowers.

“Do you think it means something?” asked Bea. “Like, roses mean a thing and daisies mean another and so on? Or is it just random?”

_Fuck if I knew_ he thought.

He had tried to gather some information about his soulmate from the flowers. Hours spent trying to learn their names and meanings, when and where they typically bloomed and so on. By now he was familiar with all the most popular gardening websites like a fifty-something unmarried woman or a grandpa enjoying retirement. All for nothing of course.

It was frustrating and it was really starting to take an emotional toll on him.

Being aware that his soulmate was out there hurting so often and he couldn’t do anything to help them. At least the flowers were showing up less frequently now.

But what if his soulmate was in danger?

What if they were being bullied?

Or they were in an abusive relationship of some sort?

Why did they get head injuries all the time?

Charles was low-key scared of finding out.

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Having a headache whilst anxiously waiting for his turn was no fun.

He had studied so much for this exam, yet his mind kept telling him he was going to fail it.

It was hard to separate the anxiety thoughts from his own self-doubts, but he thought this was a case of the latter. Over the years he had learnt how to deal with anxiety a lot better and he managed to keep it at bay most of the time. His therapist was very proud of his progress and he was proud of himself too.

His name got called as he was trying to revise some of the most important concepts.

Thirty minutes later he walked out of the building with a huge smile on his face.

Another exam passed with the highest grade!

Too bad his stress-induced headache just wouldn’t leave him alone.

He hoped his soulmate didn’t hate him for all the headaches he kept having.

It’s not like he had much control over them. Oh no…

What if they were worried about him?

Whenever he thought about his soulmate he wondered what they looked like and what they were doing. He daydreamed about how they would meet and how they would realise that they were in fact each other’s soulmate. Maybe they’d bump into each other at the supermarket. Maybe they’d take the same train one day. Maybe Max would walk into a bakery and they’d just be there, like they’d been waiting for him all their life. (Technically they had.)

But he never had to worry about their health or general wellbeing.

He hoped they were okay but that was it.

His poor soulmate on the other hand was probably super worried about him.

As he strolled around the Parisian streets he hoped there was a way of letting them know he was doing okay.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

On the morning of his roommate’s graduation Charles woke up with a flower crown.

It had been a while since the last appearance of it so he almost gave himself a heart attack as he entered the bathroom and saw his reflection.

He sighed and wondered what had happened this time.

The roses were gorgeous, but they definitely drew a lot of attention.

At breakfast Dan just raised an eyebrow at him and didn’t make any comments. Bless him.

“Ready for the big day?” he asked.

“Yep. Can’t wait to finally be able to move out and not see your ugly face every day!”

Charles pouted making Daniel laugh.

“God, I’ll miss this” he said.

“Aw, _Sharl_, don’t get sentimental on me.”

Daniel, being Daniel, wiped away some non-existent tears.

A few hours later he was the one actually trying not to cry.

He was just so happy for his friend, but he was also sad about the end of his uni life. He had graduated last week and tomorrow he was going to start packing his things to empty out their room.

“I’m going to the toilet” he announced.

“Hiding there so you can have a good cry?” Daniel teased.

He flipped him off and started walking away.

He wasn’t that familiar with this part of the university, so he got a bit lost before finding what he was looking for.

He pushed the door open and it banged against something.

_Someone._

Unless overnight things had developed the ability to groan.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

“Sorry! I am so sorry!” said the cute boy who had just slammed a door on his head. “Are you bleeding?”

He shook his head and the boy visibly relaxed.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think someone was there and… yeah, sorry.”

Max shrugged and closed the tap. He checked his reflection in the mirror and hoped he wouldn’t get a bump on his forehead.

And that’s when he saw them.

“Nice flower crown. I love forget-me-nots.”

The boy frowned before turning to face the mirror properly.

“Oh, they have changed again. I had roses this morning” he explained.

Max found himself laughing. He thought that was an _actual_ flower crown. Were they still a thing?

“I didn’t know you could get flower crowns from your soulmate.”

His face turned dark for a moment.

“I _only_ get flower crowns. God knows what the fuck they’re doing.”

Cute boy sounded equal parts worried and annoyed.

Yeah, that was probably super stressful.

Speaking of stress, another headache had just showed up.

Because having a panic attack on the morning of your graduation day wasn’t enough apparently.

He groaned and closed his eyes. Cute boy started talking again.

“See? Now there’s pansies on my head. I don’t get why they’re changing so much today” he complained.

“I just got a headache. Maybe you’re my soulmate” Max joked.

In that same moment cute boy shrieked.

Max’s eyes flew open.

The flower crown was gone.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

They had been dating for a couple of months when one day Max told him to close his eyes.

“Why?” Charles asked.

“Close your eyes” he repeated.

He felt something being gently deposited on his head.

“Okay, done” proudly announced Max.

Charles immediately grabbed his phone to take a look at himself.

A flower crown.

Sunflowers and yellow tulips.

“Is this your way of telling me you have a headache?” he asked.

Max shook his head.

Gosh, he hoped the anxiety wasn’t back.

He didn’t want him to go through all that pain again.

They had talked about it one night, cuddled close against each other, and he had wanted to kick his younger self for ever complaining about the flowers. What Max had to endure was a lot worse.

He really hoped it wasn-

“This is my way of telling you that I love you.”

Oh.

Max was smiling softly at him, but it was obvious now that he was slightly nervous.

“I love you too” he said.

The smile those four words caused could have lit up the whole world. It made sense considering Max was the brightest star in the whole universe. His sun. Who had just given him flowers symbolising love and happiness. A make-out session was due.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again!  
I don't really know what this was supposed to be. I wanted to let some angst out (at the expense of my poor characters), but then I felt bad about it, so I progressively softened the plot I had in mind. I needed some cuteness anyway and I can't get enough of soulmates!AUs so I had to write one at some point.  
Let me know what you think!
> 
> PS: Hope you're all okay, let's destroy this coronabitch!!


End file.
